Love Lockdown (w/Tori)

808s & Heartbreak is by no means my favourite Kanye West album, but at the moment, it is the most relevant. There’s a Love Lockdown. Many of us are either separated from our partners or missing real life interactions with potential love interests.

Initially, I started to get withdrawals. As a straight man, the thought of not being around young women for months, was something concerning. As an animal more so, I had one thing in my head; to reproduce.

Then, my rational side kicked in and I realised that the lockdown could serve as a much-needed break from some of the stress that relationships can bring. This is time for me to work on myself – self-care and all the clichés.

However, I started to wonder what it was like for people already in relationships. How were they coping? Can they maintain what they had before Covid-19?

So, I spoke to my friend, Tori, to get her perspective on lockdown love. And, here is what she had to say:

How would you describe your relationship before lockdown?

I’d say [it was] very strong, almost co-dependent because we’d spend almost almost everyday together.

How do you think that this has changed since the government announced the Covid-19 restrictions?

It’s changed because I’m locked down with her so it means [we’re together 24/7]. It’s difficult… [because] you have to keep your mood up in order to keep the other [person] in high spirits, which makes it harder when… [my mood is] up and down in lockdown.

[However], it hasn’t changed in the typical way, like: I’m sick of this person.

So, do you think that when lockdown ends, things will be different? Would you need a break? Or would you be closer?

I think closer in the way [in which] it will be weird not going to bed together. But I think it will mean that we can appreciate going out together and being able to see our friends and just regain the balance.

I don’t think that [lockdown has] made us worse but it’s…not all rainbows, especially because we’re both frustrated with not being stimulated by school or having distractions.

[Having said that], we’re good at letting each other do our own thing if we need some space. Like, she’s playing Xbox…warzone. [And,] I’m normally calling my friends or family.

So, you’ve been able to keep the balance?

Mostly yeah [but] I’ve also noticed [that lockdown equals] exes [getting] back into your life. I think [it’s because] generally people find this experience very lonely. [Therefore, people get back with their exes] as a form of safety or comfort because they’re lonely.

Do you think that those relationships will be long lasting?

In my opinion, no (laughing emoji). [There are so many exes or past tings that] I haven’t heard from in years, shouting me and it’s just pathetic.

Obviously, your situation is different because you’re with your partner, but do you think that people can build and maintain relationships purely online?

I think…hypothetically, [yes]. Someone moves to you, you get to know them and you can give them a lot of attention…[so] something might blossom.

But in my experience…I’ve been through all of that and then met them and felt completely different [so you need to actually be around the person to know].

What do you miss the most from pre-lockdown life?

[Well], I just turned 18 so I haven’t had the experience of…going clubbing, going to bars (legally) [with my friends]. I just miss my girls.

Off the Coronas

I found the conversation with Tori interesting because it wasn’t what I expected. I expected it would be difficult for couples to stay in touch but this doesn’t apply in her situation. This gave me a whole new perspective and helped me to understand what it’s like to live with a girlfriend and the effect that that can have on your relationship.

This is an experience alien to me so I knew that she was going to ask me about my love life in lockdown. And, here is what I had to say:

Xaymaca Awoyungbo

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